Maintaining a positive mindset can be great for our mental health, but it’s important to remember that it’s not always needed, and sometimes we really just need to feel our feelings. Too much of a push to always remain positive can lead us to something called “toxic positivity.” But how can positivity be toxic? Let’s talk about it!
What is toxic positivity?
Toxic positivity is the overwhelming insistence on maintaining a positive mindset, regardless of the circumstances, often dismissing or invalidating genuine feelings of sadness, anger, or frustration. This phenomenon can manifest in phrases like “just stay positive” or “look on the bright side,” which, while well-intentioned, can create an environment where people feel pressured to suppress their true emotions. The harm in toxic positivity lies in its ability to undermine emotional authenticity, making people feel guilty for their feelings or isolated in their struggles. This superficial cheerfulness can actually lead to increased anxiety, as people may feel they cannot express their true selves or seek support. Recognizing and validating a full range of emotions is vital for mental health and well-being, encouraging healthier coping strategies and more meaningful connections!
An example of toxic positivity would be someone responding to a friend who is feeling down about a job loss by saying, “don’t let it bring you down” or “everything happens for a reason!” Although this could be true, and this job loss may eventually lead them to an even better position, this type of response downplays the friend’s feelings and discourages them from processing their emotions, suggesting they should ignore their struggles instead of addressing them.
Toxic positivity happens when focusing on being upbeat pushes aside real emotions, making negative feelings seem like something to avoid at all costs. Instead of pushing toxic positivity, we should always try and make it a point to create a space for being open and supporting each other.
How can I look at these situations differently?
To help with this, try really listening when someone shares their feelings—acknowledge what they’re going through without jumping to fix things or glossing over their feelings. Saying things like “It’s cool to feel this way” or “I’ve got your back” can really strengthen your connection. Gently encouraging problem-solving and sharing resources like therapy or mindfulness tips can also help. Plus, it’s key to remind ourselves that feeling sad or angry is just part of being human! By promoting emotional awareness and offering unconditional support, we can build a healthier vibe that values real feelings over unrealistic cheerfulness.
Reminder… it is okay to feel your feelings and let others do the same!